Thank you

I just want to take a minute to thank everyone for all of the support and well wishes. It is amazing how many people are following our story and I hope it will reach someone that is about to endure the same situation and they can get some comfort in knowing they are not alone.

I want to thank a few people personally.

Dr. Mahajan (and the ultrasound tech) - our OB. Thank you for questioning one of the many pictures of his heart. If you hadn't caught it we wouldn't have our sweet boy right now. You literally saved his life. If we had not known about this and delivered in oswego by the time his PDA (hole in heart they are born with that needed to stay open for Logan to have oxygenated blood) closed and they realized something was wrong it would have been too late. CPR wouldn't have saved him and he wouldn't have made the transport. We are beyond grateful for you and your team that caught this. I will think of you for years to come, whenever I get to hold my Logan it will be because of you. Thank you.

Mat and Carol, Jakes parents, thank you so much for all of your support and love throughout our journey. Thank you for watching Corbin for us so that we could be together with Logan. Thank you for your continuous help between being in Rochester to help us with Corbin and always being there if we need anything at all. Thank you for letting us use your vehicle to go back and forth, instead of using our second vehicle with no AC. We appreciate everything beyond words and can never thank you enough. Thank you Mat for continuing on working on our addition while we were away. Along with Ryan Turner and Nate Grey.. we cannot tell you how thankful we are that you took time out of your busy lives to help build our house while we weren't even around.

To my mom Sue, thank you for watching Corbin when we needed you too and allowing Jake and I be together with Logan. You have no idea how much it helps us and takes the weight off of our shoulders. Also, thank you for taking care of Kiya for us while we are away. I know she can be a handful sometimes but we are forever grateful that she is somewhere that we don't have to worry about her and we know she is well taken care of. Thank you for all of your love and support throughout our journey.

Amber, where to begin? You are incredible. I know we've thanked you a million times but it will never be enough. You came to us in a time of need and we can never repay you. You took such a stress off of our shoulders words cannot describe our appreciation. It was so nice to know that Corbin was so well taken care of while we were gone. I cannot think of anyone else that would have done what you did. I owe you the world and then some. I love you with all of my heart. You are the greatest friend and person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Syracuse NICU, thank you for taking care of our little Logan before he was transfered to Rochester. You nurses are amazing, each and every one we encountered were professional and empathetic.

Dr. Alfieris, of course we are forever greatful for your steady hands while during surgery. Thank you for getting on your knee and talking to us like human beings. I loved that you called later in the day for an update on how he was doing. It shows that you truly care about your patients. I know he will need future surgeries and I am completely confident in handing him over to you. Just handle him gently, he has half my heart.

Nurses and doctors in the PCICU at Rochester; you are all so incredible. It is just amazing to us how educated you all are and how calm and professional you are in all situations. You really helped my husband and I keep our cool and feel confident that Logan is going to be okay.

To Jacob's work crew, thank you. Your gift was truly unexpected and helped us immensely. We were able to breath easier knowing we had extra help. We were touched by your thoughtfulness and we are forever grateful.

Jake, you are my rock. My everything. I knew we had a solid relationship before this, but now I know nothing can break us. You are an incredible person, friend, husband and especially father. I cannot imagine going through this roller-coaster with anyone but you. Your optimism balances with my pessimism and keeps me grounded. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through and I don't know if I would have been able to without you. I love you so much. I am beyond grateful that I have you by my side and I know I can always count on you. We have the luckiest boys in the world because you are their father. The love in your eyes when you look at them just makes me fall in love with you more and more everyday. Thank you for all you do for us. I could go on and on, but I won't, I will show you everyday how thankful I am for you. For the rest of my days. I love you.

To everyone that has followed and shared our story. Thank you, thank you for spreading awareness of CHD. I have received emails from people all over the country thanking me for my blog and that it has helped them and their upcoming journeys with CHD. I am so happy that I can help people, even if it is just one person, with our story. We will be calling on you all again when we have our next surgery to help us share our story. Thank you so much!

Thank you to everyone else that has said a kind word, checked in on us, made us dinner or just sent a text to say hello. We are overwhelmed with all of the love everyone has shown us. We are forever grateful to have such amazing friends and family. Thank you everyone.

Surgery

What a day! Logan left us at 9 for surgery and we tried to stay busy as long as we could but ended up in the waiting room at 10:45. It seemed like an eternity, but the longer we stayed the more we didn't want to leave incase the doctor came up. Finally, at 12:30 the surgeon appeared and gave us a thumbs up then called us outside. He explained that everything went exactly as expected and now his body just had to get used to a new way of pumping and circulating blood. He said that his pulmonary arteries were angry and had to adjust. He explained that they left his chest open to allow for swelling, which we knew was a posibility. There is a piece of plastic holding his ribs apart and a dressing over his heart.

Everything is up to Logan now.

What a relief! We were excited and happy, like a huge weight was lifted. They brought him by us so we could give him a kiss and then wheeled him back to his room to get him all transferred over. We had to wait a while before we could go see him. More waiting...

It took about an hour and a half before we could go see him. When we did the nurses explained to us what all of his tubes and medications were. It was pretty overwhelming. He gained 12 different medications and fluids just to get rid of one medication. It was hard to see him. He is sedated and paralyzed with tubes and wires and machines surrounding him. We just stood together in silence and stared at him for what seemed like forever. It was so surreal. You can see his heart beating through the dressing on his chest. His skin tone is more pale and he is a little puffy. The nurses say he will get more puffy as the days go on due to all of his fluids.

As happy and relieved as we were about the surgery being over we were swept with more emotions of being scared and worried all over again. The easy part was over, now comes the hard part. It was strange having so many contradicting feelings at once. We are on Logan time now. Everything is up to him and we will wait until he is ready.

As the day went on the nurses and doctors keep a close eye on him and adjust everything as needed. Since he is paralyzed and sedated they need to find the balance with his o2 and blood pressures and chemical levels. They do neuro checks every hour and blood checks every half hour and adjust accordingly. We were just amazed at how incredible these nurses are, even though it is their specialty. As the day went on there weren't many changes. As the doctor said, we want boring.  We want Logan to be as boring as possible. And so far he is complying.

As the night went on we just sat in his room and watched as the nurses did their constant checks. We can't hold him and we can hardly touch him so all we can do is sit and visit with him. He has no idea that we are here right now, due to the medications, but I feel good being here with him.

Today we woke up and we didn't have any phone calls so we assumed everything stayed boring. We came down to see our buddy and sure enough he was doing fine. He had a few dips last night of his o2 stats and his blood pressure but they quickly adjusted his fluids and took care of it. Everything is a balance and it is up to the nurses to make sure everything stays balanced and they've been doing great. Logan is hanging in there and doing as good as he can. The doctor said that she is happy with his progress but we are not out of the woods yet. She said she will feel better tomorrow and even better the next day if he stays this way. She said that they are looking at Monday to close his chest. Once that is done they can work on weaning him off of the breathing tube and we can take steps forward to get him off some of his assitance. Those are all things we look forward too and those are all things that are up to Logan, whenever he is ready we will be ready. His time.

It's hard not to stare at all of his monitors and even harder not to get anxious when the alarms go off, but this is second nature to these nurses and I feel comforted that they are so relaxed and calm about fixing whatever is wrong. We joke that the only way Logan can be sassy is to make his alarms go off. He likes attention. Even though Everytime I hear an alarm I think, this is it, this is when everything goes downhill, he always seems to correct himself and goes back to normal. I hope that it stays that way and he only has these dips every once in a while.

So, as he is doing well we still can't breathe easy, we are optimistic and happy but we know in the back of our minds it could take a turn for the worst at any moment. Until we are in the clear we will take it minute by minute and hour by hour.

Meeting the Team

We went down to  be with Logan this morning before they took him to surgery. He was moved to a pre-op room where we met the anestesiologist. She explained to us how he would be sedated and what machines he would be on, if any. We got to hold him and snuggle him for a while. He was particularly fussy today, but I think its because he hasnt eaten since 10am yesterday. I know id be cranky too. Then we met the surgeon.

Dr. Alfieris. We had heard so many good things about this man and he lived up to our expectations, personality wise. He shook our hands and got down on his knees to talk to us. He explained everthing in laymans terms as to what he is going to do and that we would worry about his other defects at a later time. He also gave us a dose of reality.

1 out of 5 children that have this surgery dont ever make it home. It is a very difficult surgery to recover from. They are changing the phisiology of his body, sometimes chidren, no matter how strong just cant cope. Dr. Alfieris reassured us that he has done this operation many times and his statistics are a bit higher at 1 out of 10. I know he was telling us this to prepare for the worst. The surgery is a cake walk, it is the recovery that is the true test. He said the first 3 days are the hardest and the most telling as far as if a baby has taken to the surgery. He said if we make it to a week, we can breathe easier.  It was a lot to take in, and hard to hear, even though I knew there was a chance of mortality. It was all just so real.

We walked with the team to the exit doors, we kissed our baby boy and off he went. Ill update when we get some news. The Dr. Told us to be in the waiting room at 11:30 and that he should be up at that time to update us.

Transfer

Today we moved from Syracuse Hospital to Rochesters Childrens Hospital. Logan had issues maintaining his oxygen levels throughout the night and was put back on oxygen and his medications were increased. We were reassured that it was more than likely due to his weight increase and his body adjusting to the medication. Rochester ambulace picked him up around 1pm. They packaged him up in a what looked like a little time capsule, and we were off. We met him in his fancy room at 3:30 and we were told he slept the entire way. They had to do all of their prelimonary testing and admission work, so we watched and waited. He is admitted into the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, aka PCICU. He has his own little "room" in the corner of one big room.

We were introduced to many people, none of whom I can remember now. We were told many times what was going to happen, and what to expect. They are going to open his chest and put in a shunt, bypassing the pulmonary artery. We were told how he would look after surgery, which is on a ventilator, with many tubes and wires. He will have a chest tube to drain any fluids, he will have an IV coming from his neck, and his incision could be left open depending on if the surgeon thinks there is too much swelling. He will have a catheter. He will be sedated and under a paralytic so that he doesnt move, for a day or two during the most crucial time of recovery. Even though we know all of this, it will be hard to see him tomorrow. We were told the surgery would take anywhere from 6-8 hours.

I am sure there is a lot I am forgetting, but today was pretty overwhelming and there was a lot to take in. This hospital is beautiful, especially the childrens ward. We are staying at the Ronald McDonald house located inside the hospital and we have already met a few other "heart" moms. We are literally 60 seconds from Logan if he needs us for anything, or if anything goes awry.

It is comforting knowing that he is in a place specifically designed to deal with cardiac cases. Although we loved syracuse hospital and they are fully capable, we were always associated with having a premature baby, because that is typically what they see. Here, the nurses only deal with cardiac patients and this is second nature to them. He couldnt be in a better place and we couldnt feel any more comfortable about it.

It is getting late, and Im sure there is much more I wanted to say, but I will cut it short. We have a big day tomorrow. I will do my best to update after the surgery. Fingers crossed it all goes well. 

Bonding

Logan is NOW on the most minimal amount of assistance possible. By our surprise they took out his arterial IV line, which we were told would not be taken out before surgery. This IV was holding us back from holding him. We were estatic and we couldnt get our hands on him fast enough. We were able to hold him in a rocking chair and feed him. He was only getting 2mL of breast milk yesterday, but they upped him to 10 ml today. Hes a hungry boy!!

I was able to give him a sponge bath tonight. He loved it. Not really. Haha. I did though! Then he got to eat and we all snuggled for a long while. We have yet to see his eye balls, his face is swollen from all the fluids he is on, so its hard for him to get them open, but lately with the decrease of IV fluids he has been getting closer and closer. Today we were able to see that they are dark blue. As excited as I am I know they could change. Hes pretty funny when he sleeps, he makes a lot of faces. His most famous is one that looks like he is whistling. He reminds me so much of Corbin, its scary! We have compared pictures and they look like twins born 16 months apart.

We are excited to have all of this bonding time with Logan because soon it will come to an end. We will have to wait again to hold him and feed him, so we are taking it in as much as we can. The days are long, but they are going by quickly.

I just want to shout out to the most amazing person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, Amber, my best friend. She flew in from Florida to stay with Corbin for 10 days while we concentrate on Logan. She is just amazing and I cannot imagine what this experience would be like without her here. Her being here has taken so much stress off of our minds that we are forever grateful, and forever in her debt. (I know shes reading this and cringing at every word that is missing an apostrophe, but my keyboard is too difficult to bother with it. I love you!)

The last few days have been momentous for us. It is funny how much you take for granted when you have a new baby. I never took pictures of Corbin eating for the first time, or when we very first held him. These small things that we just figure is normal is what I consider incredible with Logan. You dont realize how great you have it until youre thrown for a loop and end up with something different than expected.

Progress

The last few days have been more than exciting. He has exceeded our expectations, yet again. Yesterday they weaned him from his oxygen, no more nasal cannula!! They also took off an IV that was attatched to his hand. They discontinued one of his Co2 monitors and changed his blood gas checks to every 8 hours, which used to be every 4. The blood gas checks check his Co2 levels. He is on the most minimal amount of assistance he could be on. He is on his prostiglandin, which he will not be able to wean off until after his surgery, as it is keeping his hole open and keeping him alive. He gets an IV of lipids and fluids, along with fats and heparin (a blood thinner). It is great to see him with only a few cords and lines on him. He has become slighly jaundice, but not enough to be concerned about.

Last night when we went to visit we were at the right place at the right time. His nurse was just about to change his bedding, so we were able to assist. I got to hold my baby! I was allowed to lift him up while the nurse changed his blankets. He was fussy until he was in my arms, he settled right down, didn't make a peep and just laid there. It was beyond incredible.

We were informed yesterday that they were going to start feeding him today, just small amounts to make sure his digestive system can handle it, but feeding him, none the less. When we got there today we were told what time they would start and we made sure we were back in time. She had just finished doing his care and had the tiny bottle ready with 2ml of my breast milk in it. She instructed Jake on how to hold him to feed, and he went at it. Logan ate like he has known how to for years. He sucked the bottle dry in a matter of seconds. If he is anything like his big brother is will have quite the appetite! Judging by his performance he certainly does! He is such a sweet boy, we are so in love.

We stayed at the Ronald McDonald house last night, and I cannot say enough good things about it. It is simply an incredible place for families in any type of stressful situation far from home. The room was nicer than some hotels we have stayed in. The bed was the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. Jake and I slept more last night than we have in the last 3 days. We needed it and it was amazing. We felt renewed and ready for the day. We will be staying there at least one more night before we head to Rochester, which, once we are there we will utilize the R. M. House the whole time.

We came home tonight to be with Corbin. Although we cannot do much for Logan, it is really hard to be away from him. Spending time with Corbin really takes my mind off of things, but once in a while, when he slows down, my mind gets the best of me. I was just pregnant for 9 months, and now I am home, not pregnant, empty handed. It made me feel so empty even though I am surrounded by my beautiful family. He should be home with us, we should be adjusting to the new lifestyle he has yet to bring. Corbin should have met his little brother by now. There is nothing we can do. Despite all of the great news and progress we have with our amazing little heart warrior it is still a hard situation, obviously. We are staying as strong as we can, taking it one day at a time, because that is all we can do.

I can't imagine, or at least I hope, we won't have many more updates until he goes to Rochester. Hopefully he stays stable and continues to eat without any issues and I don't have to fill you in on anything new. Unless it is good, of course. Here are some pictures of our momentous moments.

24 Hours

Logan did great throughout the night! He is holding steady in the 90s for his oxygen levels. The medication that helps keep the hole in his heart open gives him the jitters and makes him warm and irritable, but even when he is fussy he is really easy to soothe. We were told that they are planning on transferring him to Rochester on Wednesday the 29th for his procedure, but it isn't set in stone yet. Hoping to hear more from the doctors and cardiologists today. We are so thankful that he is doing as good as he is, he looks as healthy as a horse, and I'm pretty sure hes the biggest guy in the NICU. We still cant hold him, but the nurse said hopefully within a few days they will take his arterial line out and then we can. I'm looking forward to it! He still has a long road, and I'm sure it will get harder, but as of right now we couldnt be happier with his progress and outcome.

We spoke with the cardiologist, and it is official, they are sending him to Rochester on Wednesday the 29th for surgery on Thursday the 30th. He will be having a shunt procedure, that I thought was "non invasive". It is in fact open heart surgery. He will need to have follow up surgeries in order to replace the shunt as he grows. The most common procedure is called the BT Shunt procedure.

"Blalock-Taussig shunts, or BT shunts, are used for defects that affect the flow of blood from the right ventricle, through the pulmonary artery, and to the lungs. These include pulmonary atresia, pulmonary stenosis, and tricuspid atresia.

The BT shunt is a palliative procedure. It does not correct the defect, but it helps to resolve symptoms until the child is older and/or the defect itself can be repaired. It is also called the blue baby operation.

A shunt is a small tube made out of synthetic material called Gore-Tex. The BT shunt is about 3 to 3.5 cm in diameter. It attaches a section of the aorta to the pulmonary artery, creating a sort of detour. This allows enough blood to pass through the lungs and pick up more oxygen. The shunt relieves any cyanosis or blueness the child might have been experiencing. This is a closed-heart procedure. (This is where I read that it wasn't open heart, but our doctor said otherwise)

The BT shunt mimics the role of the ductus arteriosus. It is often put in place after the ductus closes naturally. Shunts are usually used for four to five months, until the child outgrows them and a second operation or definitive repair is needed."

We asked about other corrective measures for his other defects and what we could expect, and as of right now they are only concerned about getting oxygen to his lungs, rightfully so. He said that once this procedure is done and he is stabalizing on his own they may not have to fix his other issues. Logan will have to rely on his right ventricle to pump blood to his entire body. I was concerned about this because the right ventricle is not made to pump to the entire body, the left is, but the doctor said that the risks may outweight the benefits to do surgery to repair everything else. He said eventually the right ventricle could fail, but it could be 20-60 years. We will revisit our options once we get over this most important first hurdle. They halved his prostiglandin medication and lowered his oxygen flow rate. They were hoping that halving the medication would help with the side effects. We were flying hight on all of this news. We had such a different expectation of the prognosis, outlook and future that the news we were getting was just music to our ears. We expected the worse and hoped for the best and it worked in our favor.

I went up later this afternoon to see Logan and how he was doing, his tremors had gotten worse. It was so hard to see. He was shaking and shivering and there was nothing I could do to help him. It hit me... hard. I cannot hold him to make him comfortable, I cannot soothe him, I cannot do anything to make him feel better. It killed me. We were so happy about how great he had been doing that I forgot how sick he actually is. It really sunk in, and emotions took over. I had to leave. I got back to the room and we were visted by the nurse we had last night during labor, who we ABSOLUTELY loved!! She found us to give us a folded paper with a print out of Elton Johns lyrics to the song The Greatest Discovery. I read the first line and completely lost it. She left us with the paper and her best wishes for Logan. It took us quite a while to be able to read it as it was all just too much at that moment.

Peering out of tiny eyes
The grubby hands that gripped the rail
Wiped the window clean of frost
As the morning air laid on the latch

A whistle awakened someone there
Next door to the nursery, just down the hall
A strange new sound you never heard before
A strange new sound that makes boys explore

Tread neat so small those little feet
Amid the morning his small heart beats
So much excitement yesterday
That must be rewarded, must be displayed

Large hands lift him through the air
Excited eyes contain him there
The eyes of those he loves and knows
But what's this extra bed just here

His puzzled head tipped to one side
Amazement swims in those bright green eyes
Glancing down upon this thing
That make strange sounds, strange sounds that sing

In those silent happy seconds
That surround the sound of this event
A parent smile is made in moments
They have made for you a friend

And all you ever learned from them
Until you grew much older
Did not compare with when they said
This is your brand new brother
This is your brand new brother
This is your brand new brother

Inside of the paper was a note from her that said "I wanted to find a copy of this before I left but it was so crazy! This is for your little boy getting his new baby brother! Congrats!" It was so thoughtful, and perfect, and sad all at the same time.
I think we needed to have a small breakdown, it brought us closer together. After we gathered ourselves we went up to see our little champion. He looked so great. He wasn't shivering, he wasn't shaking he was snuggled up in a small wrap and a little blanket sound asleep. He was beautiful, amazing, and simply incredible.
It has been a long day, with ups and downs. We are looking foward to the day that we can hold him in our arms and get a small dose of normal.
I am getting discharged tomorrow and we plan on going home and spending some time with Corbin and then coming back up in the evening and staying at the Ronald McDonald house overnight. Not being in the hospital is going to make this a lot harder, but we will figure it out and try to spend our time as wisely as possible until we head to Rochester. It'll be a long week.

Welcome to the World

We went into the hospital for our scheduled induction at 6am on monday the 20th. Things started off pretty slow, I got a dose of cervidil to help thin out my cervix. After an hour of recieving the dose I started having contractions. They decided after 4 hours not to continue the medication as my contractions were regular. At 8pm they started me on pitocin, we settled in for the night and tried to get some sleep. Of course, everytime I got comfortable a nurse would come in and adjust my monitors. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep. At midnight I had to go to the bathroom, when I rolled over my water broke. (What a weird experience!) Once that happened, the night went by very fast. My contractions sped up and got much more intense. At 2:30 am I asked for pain medicine, they gave me a syringe full of some type of pain control medicine, which I had had before with Corbin. It did nothing. After an hour I was dying for an epidural, any type of relief, the pitocin made the contractions so intense I was ready for some relaxation. The anesthesiologist came in around 3:30am and got me set up for the epidural. By 4am it was in, I was so looking forward to some relief.
I didn't get any.
The epidural had failed. I was asking why it wasn't working and they were all unsure, the anesthesiologist was called back in to give me another dose, which did nothing. The nurses said I was progressing too fast for the pain medicine to have any effect. I went from 4cm dialated to 7 in an hour. My contractions were forcing me to push even though I wasn't dilated completely. I couldnt help myself. The nurse let me push through and helped me dialate the rest of the way. According to our paper work, I was fully dialated at 4:19am, and Logan was born at 4:25am. I pushed for 6 minutes! And he was out! He was in a hurry! They put him on my chest and he began to cry, it was a great sound. They took him over to his little bed to clean him up and evaluate him.

He looked great! We were expecting a blue, oxygen deprived baby, but he pinked right up. He got an 8 out of 10 on the APGAR scale, the -2 was due to his color. Although he was pink his extremities were a little dusky. They wrapped him up and gave him to me he looked so normal and healthy. They took him away what seemed like immediately. We weren't able to see him again until 5 hours later! We were met with one of the cardiologists while we waited, he confirmed his diagnosis. The pulmonary steniosis was worse than we thought. The valve is bascially completely closed and there is no blood going from the heart to the lungs. All babies are born with a hole in their heart that typically closes hours after they are born. This hole is Logans only way of mixing oxygenated blood from the lungs with blood in the heart. The hole bascially bypasses the pulmonary artery, because of this they gave him a medication called Prostiglandin to keep this hole open. We were told that his oxygen levels were exceptional. After the medication was given his oxygen was at 80-85%.
We were also told that he began to have trouble breathing, which is a side effect of the medication, and also common in heart babies, so they put him on oxygen. They contemplated intubating him, but once they put him on oxygen he did much better. Yay!!

When we were finally allowed to see him he was hooked up to an EKG monitor and countless other machines. He had IV lines running through his umbilical cord. He looked so good, as far as color, and he was huge, 9.5 lbs, 22 inches! We just bathed in his company for a while. Unfortunately because of the IV lines in his umbilical cord we are unable to hold him. We can only stand over his bed and hold his hands and feet or touch him just to let him know we are there. Later in the afternoon we spoke with the doctor whom told us they had done an echo and reiterated that the pulmonary valve was shut. This is their main concern at the moment and the first defect that needs attention. He said that Logan will need a procedure to temporarily fix the problem. He will undergo a procedure called the BT shunt procedure, which is closed heart surgery. He will need to go to Rochester for this procedure, as it cannot be done here. The Dr. told us that he plans on having it corrected within the week. Finally, a game plan! The rest of the defects will be adressed once the pulmonary defect is taken care of. One step at a time! Although he is surprising us with how well he is doing now, he still has a long road of rough recoveries, but we are hopeful that he is going to be strong throughout it all.

Only days away.

Even though we have been counting down for months, it didn't seem real until now. Packing our hospital bags, not knowing how long we will be gone for, wasn't easy. It is all getting so real. We am beyond excited to meet our little guy and to finally have a game plan in place. The wondering and not knowing has been very exhausting.

We go in on the 20th in the morning to start the induction process, I'm a little nervous about it ending in a c-section. Not because I'm afraid of having one, but because if I have to have one, I'd rather have one right off the bat. I don't care how he gets here, I just want to hold him in my arms. We were told at our tour that we will have a room full of people. Specialists, NICU team, medical students, nurses and doctors. Once he is born we will get to see him for a short time, and hopefully hold him, but once they take him away we will have to wait a while until we can go see him. Jake can see him after an hour, and I'll have to wait about 2 hours.

I've gotten a lot of advice from other mothers that have heart babies, and it has been comforting. They don't beat around the bush, they aren't all optimistic and positive. They are realists. which is what I need. I appreciate everyone's kind words but the reality is, is that this is going to be a long, scary road. He is going to have his ups and his downs. We all will. Although heart babies are resilient, the recovery of surgeries can still be rough. I have an amazing husband, who is my rock. Although we are both very strong individuals this will be a test of true strength, in each other and in our marriage. I am confident that we will come out stronger in the end.

I have some information for you, if you've stumbled upon this page because you are experiencing something similar, or if you haven't followed from the beginning, of what his defects are. He has a total of 5 defects, that we know of as of right now.
Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV) - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007328.htm
Transpostion of the Great Arteries (TGA) - http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/heartdefects/tga.html
Pulmonary Stenosis (PS) - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001096.htm
Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) - http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/CongenitalHeartDefects/AboutCongenitalHeartDefects/Ventricular-Septal-Defect-VSD_UCM_307041_Article.jsp
Dextrocardia - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007326.htm

Although these defects are common on their own, the combination of them makes for a  very complex case for the cardiologists. We are forever hopeful that Logan is going to be a fighter, he has to be! I will update again once we get the ball rolling on the 20th. See you then!